An update

School started about a month ago, so that's good. Josh loves Kindergarten and learning Spanish. He has come to terms with the toilet in his classroom, thanks to Wendel working him through it on Meet-the-Teacher night, so there aren't any issues there (he has a fear of most toilets). Oliver seems to like school okay but feels like 3rd Grade is a lot harder than 2nd. He has already had two refocus sheets (for not paying attention, talking in class, playing with his pencil, arguing with an adult, etc). Mornings are difficult because the boys have to get up at 5:45 to make the bus that comes at 6:22. Josh especially struggles with being able to focus and move quickly to complete the tasks necessary to get out the door. It was really hard the first couple of weeks (both boys were grounded for one week from playing with friends because they would not follow directions and missed the bus as a result) but now it's going better. Oliver often gets up on his own and Josh will move a little faster if I'm sitting in his room with him while he gets dressed. Afternoons can be very challenging as well. Usually Josh is in a pretty good mood when he gets off of the bus (he's often the first one off and runs to me and hugs me) but sometimes he's not. Oliver is usually grumpy. The minute they get into the car, or sometimes before, the boys start fighting - teasing, pushing, yelling, blaming, annoyed with each other, etc. It mostly continues that way until bedtime, which is really hard for me.

I really think Josh has ADHD. His doctor is monitoring him for it but wants to see if it manifests at school before she diagnoses him. Both of his preschool teachers expressed concerns about it and it is very apparent here at home. We see difficulty focusing, not sitting in his chair at dinner (he stands on the bar at the bottom of the chair and rocks the chair), he often can't remember what task he was assigned a minute prior, he has difficulty controlling his emotions (especially anger - he explodes instantaneously), he repeats a lot of the same behaviors over again, even though those behaviors have yielded negative results in the past, etc.

While we have seen some improvement with Oliver's behavior, it feels like one step forward and two steps back. We constantly feel frustrated, discouraged and like we are failing him. There is a little bit of hope though. We are going to start in-home behavior coaching. The people at this agency all have first hand experience with special needs kids and our behavioral coach has a degree in Special Education. She has worked with ODD and ADHD kids before. I need this to work. Holding onto this hope.