Today was exhausting. I took Josh and Eleanor to the dr office for a well check. They were running around in the waiting room, kicking each other, pushing, playing tag, complaining and would not sit in a chair while I was dealing with an insurance issue at the front desk and on the phone. Eleanor at one point was walking on the chairs. Josh did say, "Yes Mom" a few times but would get sucked in by her teasing and they would tease each other and run around the waiting room, being loud and disruptive. I talked with them several times, tried to get to the root of what was going on with Eleanor and then moved on to the threat of consequences (loss of privileges), which came to fruition. Even one of the office staff came over to talk with them and they still continued after she left, though not as intensely. I will admit I was embarrassed that they wouldn't listen to me and were so disruptive.
In the dr office room, Eleanor actually did pretty well (other than crawling on the floor under the chairs at one point) but Josh came unglued. He pulled open the drawers and pulled supplies out, tossing them on the ground. He poked a hole in one bag-type thing and then dropped it. I tried holding him on my lap but it didn't work for long. He tried pushing Eleanor off of the exam table because the doctor started asking Josh questions about his portion (but wasn't ready to exam him yet) and he thought he needed to be on the exam table if she was asking him questions. He was contrary to almost everything. He picked up the blood pressure tool on the wall and I had to take it from his hands. He turned on the sink water numerous times, after the I told him not to, as well as the doctor. I was wondering what on earth was going on because this behavior was not his every day behavior - not this intense. I then remembered he hadn't eaten lunch, only snacks at summer camp. I forgot to grab his lunch. In the rush of piano camp and getting the kids to their appointment I forgot to grab his lunch. I have seen this behavior to this extreme when he is really hungry and knew that was the trigger. I still felt embarrassed and exhausted but also so stupid that I forgot the one thing that could help him. I didn't even have a snack in my purse.
I have also been so incredibly forgetful lately. Even worse than before. My mom texted me the other day and asked what year we got married. I honestly couldn't remember. I thought about it for at least a minute and it was like my mind was just blank. I had nothing. I had to do the math to find out it was 2004. That scared me quite a bit. I also misplace my phone several times a day, I have numerous alarms set on my phone, today I showed up at the Whitney's house at the wrong time to pick up Melanie for piano camp and I feel like there is this fog around my brain. I brought it up to my doctor a while back but didn't get any good direction. I worry it is early onset Alzheimer's Disease. My Grandpa Herzog had it so I am at risk. It could also be stress. It's a lot with the kids. I love them and don't want them to ever feel like they are a burden. The daily work is a lot and there isn't much time for recharging. I am probably just stretched too thin. Still a concern in the back of my mind though...
